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Bummer. "I have never made you feel stupid in your entire life."Do you even realize how untrue that statement is, or do you genuinely believe it? If that's what you think, you're terribly mistaken. It's not like you'd ever say it straight out, but you have your sneaky ways. Laughing when you shouldn't laugh. Little comments that I can't help but think are consciously aimed to get under my skin. You say you don’t care about my grades, but in reality I’ll never be good enough. And I quit trying. It’s not like that made it any better, but I don’t want to care about how you think I should do it. You don’t need to know everything. Aren’t the As and the praising teachers and the great friends at the end of the day enough for you? Why does it matter what I go through to get there? If you’d let me do it my way, let off just a little bit, I promise you it’ll happen. And that’s all you care about, really. The end result, the daughter you can boast to your mother and your friends and the people you need to impress. And you still won’t be completely happy with me, and you never will be. When YOU were my age, you were skinny. You didn’t burst the buttons on that vintage jacket when you wore it to the Rolling Stones concert, and made it to the front row because you were pretty. When YOU were my age, you were blonde. When YOU were my age, you were popular. YOU were already racking up votes for homecoming queen left and right, and it worked, and I will never, ever, EVER be like that. You do make me feel stupid. You take me on the guilt trips. I’m such a burden on you. I’m such an unappreciative brat. You wish you were at the studio with other people’s children instead of eating dinner with me, don’t you, you said it yourself. I'm an inadequacy , an item on your to-do list: pay bills, shop for groceries, fix Haley. You make me feel like a disappointment. That hurts even worse when I’m truly trying to be better. I quit. 2003-08-25 @ 8:40 p.m. |