Bashing the Douchebag

Antisthenes so kindly informed me that that pink piece of candy looks like an STD, and just recently having had that particular science class, graphic slides and all, I probably won't be able to look at my layout again without cringing. That's ok. I'm a template whore, and I've had this one for way too long. Don't want to ruin my whorish reputation or anything.

I wish I had a TV show on a cable network. I would see if I could fool the censors by cursing under my breath, and convince them not to bleep me with my girlish charm and wit. Jon Stewart, you inspire me. The Daily Show...with Me.

This is the second interview I've seen with Carson Daly in two days, and I'm actually starting to feel bad for looking forward to the whole Bash thing so much. Last night he said his mom was crying during it, and it made him realize that he really IS a complete douchebag and a tool. Which is good, definitely. But I would really like to just rip the fucking nose ring off his face.

In other news, I eat too much. Is anyone out there willing to perform lipo for about....$3.42 and some pocket fuzz? Right, see, I just need a little. Just a tiny bit. Do it with a drinking straw, I don't care. I'll pay for the drugs, just make sure I'm knocked out for about three days during and afterward. Trust me, it'll be fine...*shifty glance*

Check out my reviews, minions.

2003-07-10 @ 10:53 p.m.

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